I get a lot of email for gossip, fashion updates, events, and love problems. I thank all of you for emailing me. Keep sending your email ok?
We have another love problem here. It is not that grave but I think this young bachelor needs to see what you all think. I already emailed him back regarding my thoughts on his situation but now is the time for all of you to help. So here is his email:
Hello ms. Angelicopter! This is ____ and I would just like to say that I'm a big fan! I always listen to Good Times every morning and it really does make my day. I recently read your blog and came across the letter from one of your fans, I really admire the fact that you took the time to reply to her message. It made me realize that you really are a genuine and nice person.
I really would love to have your opinion regarding my problem. This is not a major thing like the other problems that I hear everyday from your radio show, but still I hope you can share your views regarding the matter. So here it goes. I'm only 21 years old and I'm turning 22 this coming December. I have a girlfried who is working in Canda as a pharmaceutical rep. We're on our third year and things are working out just fine, despite the fact that we're really far away from each other. I admit that there are times when things get a bit problematic because of the "distance" thing, but we always manage to make the relationship work.
My problem is, my girlfriend is older than me... she is already 24 years old and she is turning 25 this July. She is already on the point where she is looking to settle down and get married... Everyitme we talk, she always asks about my plans for the future. The thing is, I just don't think that I'm ready to settle at this point in time, maybe even 2 to 3 yeas from now. I heard from your show that 27 is the perfect age for a woman to have a baby and when she turns 30, it may lead to a dangerous pregnancy. I just realized that when my girlfiend turns 27, I will be only 23, I just don't think I will be ready by that time to settle down and have a family.
I always say to her that the time will come when we will get married, and I mean every word of that. The thing is, I really want to be stable emotionally and financially before I committ to her, and I'm afraid that she will get tired of waiting for me to get ready. I just got my first job last year (fresh from graduation) and I'm not really earning big bucks. What should I do? Should I take the risk? or should I wait till the time comes when I'm ready to settle down? I really love and adore her, and I'm sure that she is the woman I want to be the mother of my kids, I just don't want to disappoint her by making her wait for a long time for me to be ready, I think it is unfair for her.
I know that you married young, so your opinion will mean so much to me.Thank you very much ms. Chopper! I hope I can meet you in person. :)
Sincerely,
_________
Let us name him Lance. I hope we can help Lance with his situation. I cannot wait to read all your comments.
Dude, you're too young to settle down at the age of 23. I think you should have a list of the things you want to have and want to accomplish before changing your marital stat.
ReplyDeleteWhat's good Lance. If you and your girlfriend have different priorities and plans then it might not work out. Neither of you should get pressured into doing things that might just lead to enormous problems in the future, like marriage on your part, since you've made it pretty clear that it's not on your horizon as of the moment or even a few years from now. The ideal situation is for you both to find a compromise but if age is part of the problem, there really is no solution for that. I say cut ties and let her find happiness with someone else if that's the case and hopefully you find yours as well. Good luck, buddy.
ReplyDeleteA friend also has the same problem. my advice to him was to to think about what he really wants and how he really feels for the girl. if he feels that he loves her so much then he should think about what is best for the girl even if it means that they have to go separate ways... he just needs to explain how he really feels about the situation. being honest about it can really make things easier., i mean it wont be easy to move on but it makes the closure a lot easier...
ReplyDeletei know you're in love. i'm 31, one of the not so good decisions i made was to get married, at an early early stage (early twenties).
ReplyDeleteso fall in love, get busted and fall in love again.
in 5-10 years, ask the question again. if you think you're in a better position, that'll be the best decision. if you think you're better off with the current girl you have (after 10 years) and you let go, love again.
just remember, its not about how long you've been together.. this is not an endurance race. It's how you live life with someone that continues to inspire, surprise and make you happy, despite of the despites.
this is just Marvin's two-pence.
Hi Lance.
ReplyDeleteI believe that your desire to be emotionally and financially stable upon getting married is a good foundation for a strong marriage.
As what I can see, you both love each other and you want to make your relationship work despite the distance. But, both of you are not looking at the same direction, which is also one of the things to consider for marriage. You are young and settling down is not yet your immediate priority, whilst your girlfriend is more mature and wanting to settle down, maybe because she's worried about her body clock.
You can either talk to your girlfriend about your priorities and make her understand that marrying her a few years from now (just to satisfy her body clock / needs / priorities) may not work because you might not be able to provide for her or handling your upcoming family (kids) enough (talk about manly pride); or, you can talk to her about going on separate ways, to find the people whom you are really meant to be with, whom you can share your priorities / future with.
Remember to take some time to think or discuss about where your relationship is standing right now so you can both decide on what you think is best for you both. God bless! :)
i like the fact that you are aware that you will be only 23 when she turns 27, the fact that you admit to yourself that you don't earn big bucks and that you want to be married to her when you are finally settled financially and emotionally. it means your thinking is way ahead. if she loves you that much i guess she can wait some more. i mean, the long distance thing is working and you guys love each other.
ReplyDeletelance, be smart and practical. wait for the right time when you guys are both financially stable and emotionally ready. talk to her, tell her what you think. tell her what bothers you. dude, you guys love each other so there's no way in hell that you can't work this out.
cheers!.
im turning 37 today, still bachelor.... well, bec.. still cant find the right one for me....and at the same time im enjoying myself to be single.....
ReplyDeleteLove can wait. Continue to pursue your dreams and set a career and the rest will come out perfectly. If your girl is impatient to wait til you're ready to settle then maybe you guys are not fated for each other. Be fair to yourself.
ReplyDelete'If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was...'